Started the year with having to leave uni due to rent arrears (because of the way the government work out housing benefit). To it taking almost 4 months for the government yet again to decide I'm finally eligible for JSA ten days before I get a job! For the childminder to screw us all over with her disgusting attitude and approach to her work. To then be fired from my job for "absenteeism" being too high (btw I was off sick when they rang me to tell me this, I had food poisoning!). To having to go to court over my home and facing the possibility of eviction. To finding a new job. To tax credits stopping my money because some tit can't actually do his job and me falling behind in my rent and childcare. To tax credits not back paying me the £200 but adding on £10 per month to my tax credits (thanks for fucking me over). Which means my housing benefit is less, which means I have to pay out more weekly in rent which means I can barely afford my rent and childcare as well as get our food and electric/gas each week.
That basically sums up the past 8 months.
This year is one of the shittest I've ever had. No wonder I'm stress eating. No wonder I'm fat. No wonder I'm going grey. And that's just the money troubles.
Ash's attitude towards me the past two months has been disgusting. She had moments of being her amazing self, through big patches of being a horror. And of course no one believes me as she's good as gold for them and when we're out in public. She ignores me, tells me she's not listening, won't do as she's told, will purposely do the opposite of what she's told. And I swear she purposely does stupid stuff to give me a heart attack, she runs off towards car parks, wanders into a road whilst I'm grabbing her back from stepping off the curb. I have no idea what's brought on this shitty attitude of hers but it can stop. I want my nice child back. I want my loving child back. I want my Ashleigh back.
I don't want a lot from life ATM. I just want to have a job, come home to a nice place, have my amazingly kindhearted girl back, and for one thing to just not fuck up for a month, heck I'd take a week!!
There have been some amazing things happen this year. But the crap is out-shadowing ATM. Maybe if things go smoothly for a while I will reminisce about the good thing this year.
